Part of it is that as a racer, I'm always as far forward as I can get. In light air, I'm in one front corner and the crew is in the other. As the wind picks up, the crew starts to move to the high side and I only move back as far as I need to to let them have the front corner. If you're on the trapeze, you're forward until the bow starts to get too low or starts punching through waves - then you start moving back.
But if you're a recreational sailor, none of that matters. You're sailing for comfort, not for speed.